Im praying for all of you. I am breastfeeding and co-sleep with my child. I requested for his medical records and they want give them its like hes hiding something from me. In years past, the courts never took children away from their mothers until three or four years old. However this situation also arose when we had our first child, we went to mediation and they all tried to tell me that I would have to just stop breastfeeding or try pumping. Courts are very fair and equitable in what to give to each parent, Dr. Fox said, but a child is not a bank account to be divided.. I have been in exactly the same position as you and i wasn't strong enough to fight him to begin with and made the biggest mistake of my life and let my 6 week old daughter stay with him for two days. To me it just sounds like your ex is just being difficult and is doing this to hurt you and cause you unnecessary stress and he is trying to be controlling of a situation he legally cannot control. I have a 3 month old breastfeed baby. 1. Made with far fewer chemicals than disposable diapers, Ammababy overnight diapers let you breathe easy knowing your baby's skin is snuggled inside a quality product. Hope this helps a bit from the other point of view! That is exactly what i said pamela - i explained that i am not for one minute saying i think hes not capable of looking after her - i wouldnt let anyone even if theyed raised a hundred babies perfectly without a single mistake i would not let them take my baby overnight! What the judge award her father is so unfair to my daughter and I wish it could be changed. Can you please give me some resources that I can take to court? Call Women's Aid for advice on a lawyer if you don't have one already. Would appreciate any imput. A child normally isn't ready to spend a night away from home, except an emotionally close family member, until at least the school-age years. Its unfair what the court system can deem fit for a child. Even now, as more information becomes available, parents are still challenged by a courts system that focuses more on what the parents want in terms of equitable division of assets rather than on the rights of the child. I pumped as much as I could but my body just didn't give milk without the stimulation of a baby and I ended up losing my milk. I am frustrated and at a loss. They dont know the underlying problems it can cause on young children. What concerns me Is that if its normal for a 4 month baby, who doesnt know father at all (has no relationship with him or his family) , who was never present and even neglected him before he was born, who has no experience (most likely it will be parents taking care of my child) to get unsupervised visitation rights? When Steven returns to his mother, he will be extremely clingy, irritable, and anxious about separation from her for several days after each overnight visitation. I Think i am just going to have to be strong somehow and keep telling him. and most amazing dad in the world. Get VIP Login. No doubt that the end to a marriage, and family dynamic, can be especially confusing and frightening to this age group. The Internet has a lot of legal information available if you find a credible source. House - what percentage am I entitled to? No Dr. Fox. The father does not understand how important it is for the baby to be with the mother at least for the first few months, he thinks I am just being selfish and trying to get him out of the picture which is not what I am trying to do at all. When she became pregnant he said he didnt have time for a baby in his life because he had gone back to school. This is a difficult situation for you and to be honest I think you are being the grown up one here. In addition to being a Senior Writer and Editor on Moms.com, Kelli has written for Entertainment Tonight Canada, I'm Not Obsessed, BabyGaga, Hot Moms Club, Screen Rant, Parents Canada, iRun Magazine, and many more. My daughter is 5 years old, her father saw her an estimated 12 times in 4 years when it was convenient for him. I am and have always been an involved Father, and I read stories with my daughter until she goes to sleep. When it conveniences him. Oh, Baby, Baby By: Rosie2009. My husband shouldered many of those duties. So we stay at his parents when im up there with lily, Which isnt a big deal or anything - there house is huge. I Live with my dad, where he is always welcome to come and stay at the weekends. Can we help you? He still awarded her father to have this time with her. That right there shows that he doesnt want this baby. Hi.ive read your post and have to tell you that he has got parental responsibilities and can have over night stay.I know how you feel because Ive been through the same.Because we couldn't agree between ourselves I took him to court 10 months ago and now just last week he got overnight stay every 2 weeks.As much as it is selfish I didn't want him to have our son because I feel he is mine and he don't do the best for our son when he has him.I really haven't learnt the fact yet that we shouldn't be looking at the situation from our point of view but from the child's.As much as it breaks my heart I do know that my son loves his dad and would want to spend time and night with him.Our son is only 2.5 years.if there is no court order he can have his kid as much as you even over night and you can refuse but hope he won't take you to court first.With court help you can get time and do things properly.My son hasn't been in nappies at night for past two months until last week when he had him.It drove me up the wall but seen pics of my sonn on FB and believe me he looked happy.I always say that the main thing is that the child is happy with both parents and I know my ex will never do things like me but on the other hand he would not harm him,hurt him and that's what really matters.I know it's hard but try to think like this.When the child is older she will make up her own mind.if you decide to take it to court the judge of course looks at the aga of your child too but don't forget to ask for residency.Good luck and let me know how you doing.Wish you all the best. I understand all of you, Im sorry you all are going through these custody battles. The constant crying, the inability to soothe a screaming baby back to sleep, scrambling to zip those pajamas. Explore Songbook. Every parent should know these 'secret' developmental milestones. Good luck x, Dont worry, he won't be able to have the baby overnight. Add to that several more minutes of breastfeeding and burpingits enough to dread those wails that jolt you awake at night. He isn't your boss, he sounds like he likes to be in control but being a parent is not about control it is about doing your best for the baby and he needs to learn how to do that. Since my wife has moved out, our son stays with her, and I spend several evenings a week with him, plus all of sunday, but no overnights. See why parenting is harder than a typical job. But every time she comes home she is more violent with biting and pinching, bossier (pulls me around), she also is extremely clingy And wont let me out of her sight And she refuses to go to sleep at night. He also comes home with bruises, diaper rashes and one time he appeared to be drugged to the point he couldnt even sit up. Of course he wants me around him and he is by my side evryother weekend his Mother has him. Web what age can a child stay overnight with father? She has only been to his house once out of the four weeks the judge granted. Track your baby's development Join now to receive free weekly newsletters tracking your baby's development and yours throughout your pregnancy. But the type of trouble it caused was what no one could have expected. I completely condemn mothers who see their children as their property and think it's them being nice when they "allow" the dad's to "visit" their children. Dr. Fox spoke during the second day of APIs 15th Anniversary Celebration gathering in Nashville, Tennessee, last weekend, in a special Hot Topic session, Custody and Separation. The session was attended by parents, therapists, and others who work frequently with attached parents dealing with the heartbreak of shared custody, especially with infants and young children who are not yet able to verbally express their needs and wants. She hasnt had to watch him alone for an extended amount of time, and spends an exorbitant amount of time with her nose in her phone, so Im worried what might happen. Brittney, while this is a hard, hard time for you, I applaud you for reaching out for support and for making yourself available to your child. I wanted to have custody of our son, but my wifes family has FAR more money than me, and she knows how to play her cards well, given everything that Ive taught her about raising children (Ive helped to raise my nephew, and read countless books and medical journals on child rearing and developmental psychology, so I always have to help her when shes for example wondering why he screams when she gives him a bath that shes drawn, and hasnt thought to take into consideration that he doesnt enjoy the scalding-hot bathing that she does). She still isnt comfortable staying the night with him. She also wants to spend more time with her Dad. Now my childs father still lives with his parents and hes 20 years old. All while he had to wake up the next day to go to work. Feeling tired and resentful because your husband doesnt help with the baby at night? My granddaughter is 2 years old ,and she and her mother, my daughter, live with me and my husband. For every study such as this, there are others that noncustodial parents can cite for their argument. Easily the largest area of concern is among divorced and separated parents who are involved in custody cases in which the other parent is demanding overnight visitation for an infant or young child. So sad and worried. I Want Father (Voltes V ending song) 1978 by Original Japanese Various Artist - Karaoke Lyrics on Smule. maybe it is true for baby less then 6 months old, my son he does not want to go to his mom and he wants to spend week with me. Mal and Evie friendship/sister feels, Uma friendship feels with . Others take shiftsone handles the 9pm to 3am night shift, while the other does the 3am to 9am morning shift. I experienced this at a young age. HUSBAND DOES NOT THINK I AM ENTITLED TO HALF THE PROCEEDS OF HOUSE!! She was with me everyday, every night. Some of you may know my situation - i'm not 'with' my daughters dad. Try to limit your conversation with them to email and text so you can use it in court. The poster, who goes by the username Grumpos, explained that friends and family were insistent she should leave her 5-month-old with grandparents for the night so she can have a night off. We have been to court once and we have a temporary order of him getting our daughter for 4 weeks straight from Saturday morning starting from 9 am to 6 pm and Sunday morning from 9 am to 6pm after that he gets overnight visits from friday until sunday 5 pm. Leaving your child overnight for the first time can be very anxiety-inducing and nerve-wracking experience, and every parent will react differently. Hi all, My 71/2 year old son has told me that he no longer wishes to stay over at his dads. Now, when we were both out on maternity and paternity leave, the decision for him to wake up at nights was a no-brainer. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. He used to wake up in the middle of the night when I came upstairs after working, no matter how silent my steps were. The last time she insisted on waving us out the door and that she could settle him. Came back 2.5 hours later, he was just asleep on the sofa, and she hadnt had time to eat.". This just doesnt seem fair to her. But it is that he isnt in control of how Lily grows up - But at the end of the day thats not my fault. I would be very surprised if the Family court granted overnight visitation whilst breastfeeding. The biology of this stress is illustrated through the high levels of the hormone Cortisol, which floods the brain and impairs development. It is heartbreaking to see the stress my little girl is going through, but what can I do? I breastfed for 2 years, hand expressing at work for over half of that time. Especially if both parents can maintain the same caring routine, parenting and attachment promoting acitivities. He denied signing the birth certificate and he wasnt helping finicnially except a couple hundred here and there which wasnt enough to help with the formula alone. Tennessee doesnt seem to care about the child. Mediation what happens if you refuse to attend? Infants and young children are especially vulnerable to overnights, not only because the more intense Attachment Parenting (AP) practices such as cosleeping and nursing at night are likely at this age but also because children this age have a difficult time understanding separation. Google. For those looking for resources the Australian Assosiation for Infant Mental Health has a set of guidelines and a research background paper on overnight visitations She never wants to go to her Daddy. We have made pictures which show his face and hers. The step up plan was granted and I began having three six hour visits per week with our daughter and every other weekend visits from on Saturdays from 9-5. Why is a bad father better than no father? My husband shouldered many of those duties. Even after i'd had lily, i didnt want him driving home [it was half 4 in the morning when he left the hospital] As he was knackered and i worry about people driving when tired its so dangerous, he wouldnt even go to my dads then to get a couple of hours sleep. I have primary custody and made it very clear that I believe that a child needs both mother and father in their life. Feeling tired and resentful because your husband doesnt help with the baby at night? She has tried to tell the Judge and the Guardian Ad Litem that this is not in the best interest of Kaiden. he lives in cheshire.. about 2 hours from me and works a hell of a lot through theweek. He started in the beginning leaving her with people and one judge told him if he had to leave her, he was to bring her back home. no father is better than bad father but the court will give the father every chance to have contact.I think it's wrong but unfortunatelly that's how it works.When I was in court and told the judge my concerns she told be i'm just being petty and should appriciate that he drives 40 miles every wednesday to see him although he's not sticking to the court times.wow he he should get a medal then.I am here for my son 24/7 and drive him day but nobody appriciates that.it sucks, a father is not needed in this case he does more harm and no good i do not know my father and i am fine with that, Unsettled unhappy 5 week old baby boy always crying :(. Her safety and welfare are all that matter at the end of the day, so if he isn't willing to make any compromises and at least meet you half way, maybe its time to stop being quite so reasonable and just . Overnights with the non-resident parent are not recommended at OP's son's age because of the distress it's likely to cause. No one listening to me that my son will not handle overnights, How sad. I wouldn't be happy about sending a child somewhere I hadn't vetted first. If he had done what he should have in the first place i wouldnt be living 2 hours away - but i dont know anyone who would stay in a place like that, with no friends and a fella telling you your on your own and pregnant. While there's no one-size-fits-all routine, a typical visitation schedule may include: Overnights every other weekend. Allowing visits early on can help the baby foster a relationship with their dad and help you foster a co-parenting relationship. Im not sure if this is part of her separation anxiety as well. I think it would be better for our daughter to just spend the night once a week and minimize the transportation on the other nights. Any thoughts?? I am not sure about this, but try phone the Child Law society Scotland. 16/12/2012 22:48. I am hoping that my ex will agree to have me watch him during the days, and her watch him after she gets home. I have no problems with my husband seeing his child but am uncomfortable leaving her with a total stranger. My babys father demanded custody after 7 months of not being in my babys life. New parents are filled with questions when it comes to their babies, and although there is never a shortage of helpful and not so helpful advice from others, there are rarely set rules new parents can follow when it comes to parenting. Ok need a little help My sons father has been out of his life for several years now thankfully he has his step father. What Makes Emotional Trauma? | Smule Social Singing Karaoke app. I miss him being the first thing I see when I open my eyes every morning, and I know that hes also suffered from me not being around as much. The Father has stripped him from everyrhing and everyone that loves my grandson. Our 2 yr old granddaughter is in fight for her life. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Many parents take turnsmom does the feedings one night while dad does the next. She wakes up all night long crying. Sharing night feed duties doesn't always have to be both parents waking up each time the baby cries. My child is 4 months old and has no relationship with his father. and stress go away from you. So what does Dr. Fox recommend? He is using the system to do as he pleases. Steven will feel a sense of abandonment during each visitation, then anxiety upon returning to his mother, and literally a need to re-acclimate to his normal care routine. Is by my side evryother weekend his mother has him can use it in court so you can use in! 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